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Submit your story to Merjeo
If you have a Funny, Strange, Weird, Bizarre, story that you want to share with the world, can you think of a better place to do this than Merjeo? That’s right. We now have a set up that will allow you to submit anything you want to Merjeo, and we will publish it for you.
Share a funny story about anything going on in the news today. There are crazy things happening in Sports, Entertainment, U S News, World News and Politics. I’m sure you have watched the news many times, and have come up with some wild opinions on what you see and hear. Have you ever wanted to voice your opinion and share it with the world?
What about crazy things that you have experienced from everyday life? Did you experience something funny that you want to share with us, and the world? It doesn’t matter where your story comes from. If it’s funny, we want it right here on our home page.
Now you can do this, and here is the place to do it.
On Merjeo, anything goes
All you need to do is click on the link on the top of this page that reads, Submit a Funny Story. You can also go there by clicking on the image to the left. Fill in the information, and we will take care of the rest.
Don’t hold back on your story. Remember, this is Merjeo. Almost anything goes. If your story is vulgar, gross and out of the ordinary, submit is anyway. We want to publish it exactly as you give it to us. If it is absolutely necessary, we will try to clean it up before publishing it. Remember, we want all submissions to be published on our home page. Don’t worry about controversy. Some of the best websites have content that is controversial. People love to read content that makes them hot under the collar. And remember one more important thing. What you submit is your opinion. Everyone has the right to be funny and express an opinion. This is your constitutional right, so do it. Remember, it’s all in the spirit of fun and good humor.
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There you have it. If you have something funny, strange, weird, crazy or bizarre that you want the world to read about, send it to us, and we will put it, right here.
Response to Merjeo during the past year has been overwhelming. We feel like we have something very special, and we want you to be a part of it.
I dreamed of this for many years, and now it is about to become a reality. I can hardly believe it.
Does this mean we will be able to get Cuban Cigars again?
What are the Major League Baseball Owners thinking? Will the Yankees sign a Cuban power hitter who is not a defector?
Forget Fidel Castro, and the evil Communism that penetrated his blood. Cube was once a great place, and will be once again – Finally.
President Obama has something no other President had
What is it that President Obama has. The nice word for it is, testicles. The more common term is, balls. I have always wanted the Country to have a President with balls. I never thought it would be Obama, but the sudden change of heart is very encouraging and most welcomed.
There are many people who have never liked President Obama since his election. This may have won them over, myself included.
The Obama Administration – Deja Vu
When President Clinton was first elected, I didn’t like him either. But, the longer he was in office, the more I began to like him. But this was for different reasons. When Clinton’s sexual scandals were in the media, this made me realize that our President was an ordinary, OK guy. When he left office, I liked him more than any president before him. One of my ambitions once was to sit down with Clinton, and have a couple of beers with him. This would be an experience to remember. I’m suddenly starting to think that this would be the same with Obama.
I can’t speak for other Americans, but President Obama has won me over. I was hoping for years that a U S President would make peace with Cuba, but never thought it was possible. The reason was always the same – Former Presidents either didn’t have the guts, or, just didn’t want to fool with the situation. Of course, there is another reason. Perhaps former U S Presidents were afraid of dealing with this, thinking that the Ghost of JFK would haunt them. But JFK is ancient history. He started this crap. Obama has the guts to end it, once and for all. And for all the Kennedy lovers out there, get over it. Your beloved President Kennedy was not exactly the role model you think he was.
Cuba – Once a Great Place
Most of the people today were not around to remember Cuba in the 50’s, and there are only a few remaining who do remember. Cuba was a great place before the evil of Communism took over. And let me clarify something. I like the old Cuba, but I am not an advocate of Communism.
It was a resort and pleasure place, where people could go, relax, gamble, and just forget everything. I always hoped that a President would make the peace. I’d love to see Cuba the way it used to be. If the old Cuba comes back, I would be one of the first to go there for a vacation. It’s nice to know that I would be able to return home.
Kathy Lee Gifford was in rare form yesterday. On NBC’s Today, she alleged that Bill Cosby tried to kiss her during their comedy tour in the 70s.
Kathy Lee is a pretty woman. I wouldn’t mind kissing her myself. All The Cos did was try to kiss her, if she was telling the truth. He didn’t try to rape her. But, as usual, she wanted to be the center of attention by making a bid deal of the situation. She had nothing but good things to say about the comedian. Frankly, I don’t think trying to kiss her was so bad. She seemed to be happy about it. But what if she made it up? If so, she may be trying to save face.
The lady is too dramatic. This leads many to believe that if The Cos had not tried to kiss her, she would have really been pissed. Imagine the blow this would have been to her female ego.
This makes you wonder if many of the psychotic women who have lowered the boom on Bill Cosby in recent weeks were nothing more than just sour grapes.
The allegations about The Cos are getting out of hand. Sure, I think he loves women. But a lot of men love women, and they are not labeled as sex offenders.
Lay off The Cos. He has brought so much joy to so many people. As for the people out there who are judging the man harshly, let me ask you a question:
Would it make you feel any better if The Cos tried to kiss Frank Gifford?
Last evening, I watched the trailer for The Interview. The movie looks like it is hilarious. I’d like to see it, but not on Christmas day. I’ll be too busy enjoying some delicious food.
Many people share the same sentiments – they want to see the movie for the same reason. But many people fear that it could lead to the beginning of World War III. Let me put your mind at ease right now.
The terrorist group that is allegedly receiving the credit for the threats is North Korea. This eliminates them from the mix right away. No terrorist group will reveal what they are going to do. If so, the proper authorities will be there ready for them, and squash them like a bug.
Tell someone you are going to attack before you do it? – NO WAY! This is not the terrorist style. They like to do it in a sneaky, underhanded way. In other words, terrorists are Chicken Shit.
The first two World Wars were fought by men of courage. This also rules the terrorists out. They have as much will to fight a World War as a bear taking a dump on the toilet.
So, you can put your mind at ease. There will be no terrorist attack, and there will be no World War III. Oh, there may be another terrorist attack some day, and eventually World War III, but it is not going to be about The Interview.
I’ll probably watch the movie eventually, but I prefer to wait until it is released on DVD. I hope the DVD case will not be laced with Anthrax.
When I say pink stuff, I’m referring to an expletive, aka, the P Word. This is what keeps a man from doing what he has to do. It is accurate to say that this expletive kept Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys from winning the super bowl eight years ago.
There’s no Jessica Simpson. His chances are much better than in the past.
Tony Romo couldn’t even handle a snap from center on a winning field goal attempt in the first round of the playoffs against the Seattle Seahawks in January, 2007. Was this Jessica’s fault. I’m not putting the blame on her. However, if I were the holder, and a beautiful, sexy woman was sitting in a stadium suite wearing my jersey, with pink numbers, I probably would have fumbled the snap too.
This was one of the funniest things that has ever happened in sports. The only person who was not laughing about it was Jerry Jones.
Like many people, I would like to see Tony Romo win at least one championship. He has his chance this year. If he does not do it, he never will.
There’s no Jessica Simpson to mess him up. Those pink numbers, and that pink stuff prevented him from doing it in the past.
Most of them could care less about racism. Just like the many of the rioters in Ferguson, MO, many are looking for an opportunity to grab those last minute Christmas gifts. “If you see something you want, just loot, and grab it.” This seems to be the attitude for most of these people. To them, this is like a Black Friday, Cyber Monday and After Christmas sale all rolled into one. The only difference is,
Come on, Johnny Manziel. You didn’t think you were going to just put on that Browns uniform and make a difference right away, or did you?
At Texas A&M, you played every week against ten good players and one great player. Now, you are playing against eleven great football players every week. Don’t try to be a difference maker like you were in college, because the pros will sniff you out like a hunting dog.
You’re not playing against Vanderbilt, Mississippi State or Arkansas anymore. Even as great as Nick Saban’s defenses are, you’re not even playing against him. These guys are pros – the best at what they do.
Be patient, Kid. Remember, you jumped your senior year to turn pro. By all rights, you shouldn’t even be there yet. But you are, so approach it with the right attitude. If you do, you’re day is coming. Keep your head screwed on right.
You certainly didn’t expect to be a superstar pro quarterback your first year. The only guy who did this was Joe Namath. That was a different era, and you are no Joe Namath.
I am watching a little of the Pac 12 Championship game between the Arizona Wildcats and the Oregon Ducks.
I have to admit, Oregon’s uniforms look better than some they have worn in the past, but they still look like SH__!
During the pregame show, some of the Oregon players were asked what it takes to be a champion. My question to the person who asked the question is, “How would they know?” They had their chance to win a championship four years ago, but they ran into a major stumbling block – the Auburn Tigers. Their chances for this year don’t appear much better. They will have another stumbling block – Nick Saban.
It’s ironic that the tragedy in Ferguson, MO occurred just before Thanksgiving. Even more dramatic is that the Eric Gardner decision was made right after Thanksgiving.
Well, it looks like the protestors of the Michael Brown decision took advantage of the Black Friday sales, literally. Now it appears that the protestors in New York will capitalize on the Cyber week sales. I’ve heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, but this is a little ridiculous.
The Alabama Crimson Tide may be champions on the field. But off the field, there is more going on than meets the eye.
When Dr. Ray Watts, UAB’s president, made the announcement to drop UAB football, I tried to read the expression on his face, and in his eyes. I could tell that he probably made this announcement under duress. Many people, myself included, have a pretty good idea where the threats originated.
Legendary Alabama coach, Bear Bryant was a winner on the field. Off the field, he was like the business man who is afraid of competition. Years ago, Alabama played many of their home games in Birmingham. There are stories that he threatened to pull out of Birmingham if they landed a pro football team.
Is his son like him? Maybe not on the field. In my opinion, he doesn’t know the difference between a football and a testicle. But many are speculating that this character, who calls all the shots at the University of Alabama, wanted UAB out. In fact, Alabama would probably get rid of Auburn, Samford and Troy if they could.
Alabama has no reason to be afraid of UAB, but do have reason to be afraid of Auburn. They may have won the Iron Bowl this year, but you can bet that at least every other year, the Tigers will kick their ass.
With National Coffee Day upon us, Krispy Kreme and Dunkin’ Donuts are giving away coffee to their customers, as well a number of other stores.
This should keep the country in a severe state of nervousness for the next two weeks. After this, the country needs to declare a National Shake Day. Who know? On the next National Day, some of the drug stores may give away free Valium.
Ohio State strength coach, Anthony Schlegel decided to pull a Woody Hayes style antic, by tackling a fan running on the field during the game with the University of Cincinnati.
Violence obviously runs in the Ohio State family. Recall, in the 1978 Gator Bowl, when Ohio State legend, Woody Hayes punched Clemson nose guard, Charlie Bauman, for intercepting a pass from Buckeye quarterback, Art Schlichter in the closing minutes. This interception sealed a two point win for Clemson.
This incident is both similar, and different from that which occurred in 1978.
The similarity is, Woody Hayes never apologized to Bauman for punching him out. No one expects Schlegel to apologize to the fan who ran on the field. The difference is, Woody Hayes was the goat, and was fired the next day. Schlegel seems to be a hero, and could probably be elected if he were to run for governor of Ohio.
This is stupid. I am not about to damage my golf club. I paid too much money for them. Most of the golfers who have these temper tantrums are just weekend golfers.
There can be three reasons why these hot-heads like to do this.
First, their ego could be getting the best of them. This has to be my number one choice. Weekend golfers have an ego. Every weekend golfer likes to talk about how great his golf game is, when in reality, it sucks.
Second, they want a new set of clubs, and just need a good excuse to buy them. I have the ultimate excuse. I just want a new set of clubs. That’s it – short and to the point. Besides, don’t damage your old clubs, You can always sell them on Ebay. If they are damaged, no one will want to buy them.
Finally, they probably think they are much better golfers than they really are. I’d be the first to admit that I am not that good a golfer. But who cares? I have fun, fun, fun.
Everybody can say the word yes. They can say it, whether they mean it of not. In most cases, they don’t mean it.
Ask someone if they will be coming to a party at your house. They’ll say, “Yes” but won’t show up.
Yes is an easy word to say. No is not so easy to say. Why can’t people ever say no? Are they afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? Screw their feelings. If a person says “No”, at least they are being honest.
The law that was passed in California, Yes Means Yes, should be, No Means No. It’s no wonder so many people are dishonest. The legislatures make them that way.
Under Eric Holder’s leadership, the U.S. Justice Department would put someone in prison for spitting on the sidewalk. This guy did not play favorites. He would have put members of his own family in prison.
This is not a racial issue. I assume everyone in his family is also Afro American.
Latest Forecast – an Auburn, Notre Dame championship game?
Is it possible? That’s what the experts are predicting.
I believe it is possible. Unfortunately, for Notre Dame, they could not stay on the field with Auburn. The only bright spot on the resume of the Irish, regarding the Southeastern Conference, is they never lost to a Bear Bryant coached team. Bryant was a legend, but he could not beat the Irish.
If this happens, and Auburn beats Notre Dame, the Bear will be turning in his grave.
Derek Jeter went out in style. He delivered a game winning hit in the Yankees’ 6 – 5 win over Baltimore.
Will Derek Jeter’s number be retired?
This is a no brainer. Derek Jeter is one of the greatest. But there is another incentive for the Yankees to retire his number. His number, Number 2, is one of only two single digit numbers the Yankees have not retired.
We are thorough. Here is the list.
No. 1 – Billy Martin
No. 3 – Babe Ruth (aka, “The Babe”)
No. 4 – Lou Gehrig
No. 5 – Joe DiMaggio
No. 7 – Mickey Mantle
No. 8 – Yogi Berra
No. 8 – Bill Dickey
No. 9 – Roger Maris
Why didn’t Bill Dickey or Yogi Berra wear Number 6? Then, the Yankees can have all the single digits retired?
Well, what do you know? There’s hope for the country yet.
Eric Holder almost destroyed the Justice Department
I must admit, I am no fan of Eric Holder. I don’t hate the man, like so many. I don’t even have a problem with racism.
I do have a problem with what the Justice Department has become under his leadership. Nowadays, a man, black or white, will be sentenced to Federal Prison for violations that should be small misdemeanors.
Eric Holder likes snitches
Let’s take an example. If you have a conversation with someone you have never met, and this person is subsequently indicted for a serious crime, then you’d better not let anyone know about it. Your conversation may be unrelated to the crime. You may just address him with a friendly “How do you do.” However, if the Justice Department finds out you talked with him, they can swear that you had knowledge of the crime. In this case, you will be facing prison time as well. Even though you had no knowledge of the crime, they can get you for not turning the guy in.
This is true. I have heard many horror stories of this nature.
If I may offer an opinion of Eric Holder’s philosophy, I have to say it is:
Professional pitchman, Kevin Trudeau, was sentenced to 10 years in Federal Prison. In spite of this, I kind of like the guy, personally.
Kevin Trudeau seems like a cool guy
Naturally, this is the nature of a professional pitchman. To sell his customer, he has to come across as a nice guy. I have no problem with this. Kevin Trudeau is someone I’d like to have a couple of beers with, and just shoot the breeze. As long a I don’t have to do business with him, we could get along just fine. However, like so many professional pitch men, he would have to kept within an arm’s length. Otherwise, he would bite it off like an alligator. Continue reading Pitchman Kevin Trudeau – A COOL DUDE
If you are familiar with Alabama, you will notice that many good things, and one bad thing has been left out.
Good things from Alabama.
Joe Louis, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Bo Jackson, Carl Lewis, Jim Nabors (aka, Gomer Pyle), Hank Williams Sr., 3 of the original Temptations (Eddie Kendricks, Paul Williams, Melvin Franklin), Dianna Ross, Nat King Cole, and many others.
I am proud to say that Eddie and Paul were very good friends.
Don’t forget that the State of Alabama rules college football. The national champion has been Auburn or Alabama for 4 out of the last 5 years. It should be 5 out of 5, but Auburn came up 13 seconds short last January in Pasadena. But if there is any consolation, keep in mind that the quarterback who led Florida State to the win on their last drive, Jameis Winston, is from Bessemer, Alabama.
The only bad thing about Alabama is segregation. Many believe this is where it originated.
George Wallace has taken the rap for this, but this is not true. Wallace was not a racist. He was a politician, and a good one. He just used racism to further his political career. The real racist behind the 1963 Civil Rights Movement in Birmingham was the Commissioner of Public Safety, Bull Connor. In a speech Connor made, he said, word for word, “You’ve got to keep the White and the Black separate!” The idiot couldn’t even speak English correctly. Watch the video. You can hear this speech at the beginning of the video.
Bull Connor is the one who ordered the police to attack Afro Americans with the fire hoses. It is accurate to say that he was the sole individual who was responsible for the Civil Rights Movement in Birminghham. Bull Connor not only hated Afro Americans. He hated everybody who knew where they came from.
Let me expand on what I just said – BULL CONNOR HATED EVERYBODY, PERIOD. I think the man even hated himself. He also hated Jews and Italians, and probably more than he hated Afro Americans. He didn’t start any crap with the Jews, because they were smart, and they had the money to fight back. He didn’t mess with the Italians, for obvious reasons. I suppose he did not want his body to wash up from the bottom of the Warrior River.
There was one time when Mr. Connor attacked the Italians. I remember very clearly. Bull Connor ordered the Ku Klux Klan to burn a cross in my Great Grandmother’s front yard. The reason was because she owned a grocery store in Bessemer, Alabama. Being an immigrant from Sicily, Mr. Connor wanted her OUT. What a turd!
When you think of Alabama, think of the good things
Alabama has contributed many good things to society. Don’t judge Alabama by the one bad thing the state is associated with. Better yet, don’t judge the State of Alabama because of one individual who hated everyone, including himself.
When the Chargers and Cardinals kick off Monday night, Arizona may be without their star running back, Andre Ellington. A foot injury has made the running back from Clemson questionable.
Starting in his place could be Johnathan Dwyer, the fourth year man from Georgia Tech. This could lead to the beginning of a superstar’s career. Stranger things have happened. This time next week, the Arizona Cardinal fans may be asking the question, “Andre WHO?”
Inside Edition host, Deborah Norville, is taking the passing of Joan Rivers very hard. Since the passing of the comedy legend yesterday, she has not even been there to host her show. One would think that Debotah Norville and Joan Rivers were very close relatives.
Jimmy Fallon is grieving also, but at least he showed up last night to host the Tonight Show.
The entertainment world lost a great one yesterday. Like so many heart-broken people, I am sad to say that Joan Rivers passed away at the age of 81. Miss Rivers was one of the greatest woman comedians ever.
Joan Rivers made a lot of people laugh, and brought joy and happiness to many. In addition, the legend had many philosophies about life. If we could learn from some of these, we could all live life to its fullest.
Miss Rivers just appeared in public, went on stage and did what came natural to her. Her sharp tongued humor was her trademark, and will never be forgotten. Miss Rivers could be put into any situation, and you would think that she had been accustomed to it her entire life.
When asked once in an interview to describe what she does, she responded by saying that she really didn’t have a job. She said that all she did, and all she wanted to do was make people happy. And she sure did that.
Joan Rivers was a great comedian, but she also involved herself in other interests. Over a period of 40 years, she was the author of 10 books. She had a writing style that could rival some of the best authors. She was also a producer and business leader. Miss Rivers also had numerous endorsements. She was a frequent guest on QVC.
Miss Rivers taught us that there is nothing wrong with laughing at ourselves. It should be only natural. In doing so, it shows that we are human, and comfortable with who we are. Miss Rivers was definitely comfortable with who she was. Above, she is pictured on the Tonight Show, laughing so hard while trying to tell a joke, that she could not get the joke out.
Joan Rivers was a comedy sensation for over 5 decades. Pictured here are the two greatest woman comedians of all time. She is with Lucille Ball, and I’m sure we all know Lucy. Wow, some of the things that are going on up there now are priceless!
Miss Rivers was a very out spoken woman, and she had every right to be. There was one moment when CNN tried to exploit her on national television. In an interview with CNN anchor Fredricka Whitfield, Joan Rivers walked out during a heated argument in which the anchor called her “mean.” “You are not the one to interview a person who does humor – Sorry!” I admired her when she did this. The woman loved who she was, and was not about to allow anyone too discredit her – WELL DONE MISS RIVERS!
Miss Rivers did something that most great entertainers could not do. She passed away while she was still on top. She lived every day like it was the most important day in her life.
Miss Rivers was happy with herself, and with who she was. Also, she made other people happy with themselves, just to be around her.
It was often said that her first love, and the love of her life was her husband, film and television produce Edgar Rosenberg. Miss Rivers was a frequent celebrity guest on The Hollywood Squares, a TV game show hosted by Peter Marshall, which aired from 1965 to 1982. She is pictured above as a guest on the show, probably talking about her beloved Edgar, which she did so many times.
This is a very sad day in the entertainment world.
The son of Ponzi king Bernard Madoff is dead at the age of 48 from a rare form of cancer. Andrew Madoff is the one who turned his father in to authorities after he was swindled, like so many other people. In an interview with 60 Minutes, Andrew said that what his father did “is unforgiveable”, and he would “never speak to him again”.
Bernie Madoff is serving a 150 year prison sentence in North Carolina. I don’t suppose the Federal Bureau of Prisons will allow him a furlough to attend his son’s funeral?
If you want to smoke, chew or dip, CVS Pharmacy no longer wants your money.
A company that promotes health care decides to stop selling tobacco products. Perhaps they think this is a conflict of interest.
But there is another conflict of interest. Tobacco products, as we all know, are bad for your health. So is obesity, and being overweight. So, why do health food stores sell products that make you gain weight?
Former Oregon Ducks tight end Colt Lyerla claims that a booster promised him a house and a car if he signed with the Ducks. He also claims the booster welched.
I think there is more to this story. Perhaps the booster promised him a house and car, in exchange for a National Championship. Of course, everyone knows that Auburn took care of this. To be even more specific, it was Auburn running back, Michael Dyer who was responsible for Auburn’s win. In a tied game, during the closing minutes, Dyer kept running when he and the referee were the only two people in Glendale, AZ who knew his knee never hit the ground.
If my hunch is correct, then this former tight end shouldn’t blame the booster. He should blame Michael Dyer.
This was after testing Positive for Amphetamines. I’ve heard of a soft nose – A player who tries to find the quickest way to get on the 90 day disable list. If he can’t do it one way, he’ll do it another. Some of these guys just don’t want to play. And who could blame them? I would be delighted if I didn’t have to get my ass busted for four weeks.
This stuff can be purchased at the grocery store, and only costs about a dollar. It will be the best money you ever spend.
This will do it every time. But take two precautions:
First, stay home. Don’t go anywhere. The reasons are obvious, and you know what they are.
Stay close to the bathroom. Otherwise, you’re in big trouble.
Don’t just sit around waiting for it to hit. It takes about two to four hours. If you sit around waiting for something to happen, it’s like watching grass grow. Do something to occupy your mind. When the time comes, you’ll know it. Get ready to run, and run fast.
Once it hits, it hits big. Then, it is over, and you are home free.
As a last resort, you could sit on the toilet for two hours with your iPad.
Finally, if you want to take a trip, and if you want to fly, you may not need a jet.
Most of the stuff I write here is funny, weird and crazy. This is going to be serious, and hopefully, inspiring to the newlyweds.
First of all, if the family of these newlyweds, or anyone else think I am writing this to exploit this couple, just keep reading. You are about to discover that this is the farthest thing from the truth.
Here is the wedding picture of my parents, taken almost 60 years ago.
Behind my Mother are her parents, and behind my Father are his parents. Naturally, I was not born when this picture was taken. Young couples did things a little different then. However, I think it is accurate to say that I understand the situation that the bride is going through, and, I lived through it. Just like the young bride in the video, my Mother saw her soul mate struck with a disability before their wedding. But if their situation is anything like that of my parents, it will not be a tragedy very long.
In the video, the bride made the statement, “We can still have a good life, and we can still enjoy each other.” All I can say to her is, “MEAN WHAT YOU SAY, AND STAND BY WHAT YOU SAY. If you ever have any doubts about your decision, perhaps it would help you to talk to my Mother. She would tell you that you have a lot to look forward to.”
If the fate of this couple is anything like that of my parents, they will have a good life together. I was fortunate to see my parents celebrate their Golden Wedding Anniversary ten years ago. My Father passed away in June, 2005 at the age of 74. My Mother is 78, and still going strong. I try to spend at least one night each week at her house.
If someone were to ask my Mother, “Do you ever regret marrying a man who was disabled?”, I will bet my life that her answer will be:
NOT A CHANCE!
You must watch this inspiring video.
Oh, by the way, my Dad is the one who taught me how to play golf.
Think about HELL for a moment. Don’t think of it as a place where there is fire. Think of it as a place where you have no freedom, and a lot of fear.
You are in a room, and you are a prisoner. Your fear will not let you do the things you want to do. Your fear will also make you do the things you don’t want to do. The things that you want to do are pleasant. The things that you don’t want to do are unpleasant.
This room is HELL.
I just said you are in a room, and you are a prisoner. I didn’t say you were locked in this room. I also didn’t say that anyone was holding you as a prisoner.
Hell has a door. This door is unlocked. If you open this door and leave, no one is going to stop you. No one is going to hurt you. No one is going to come after you and make you come back. You are free to leave anytime you want.
The meaning of colors is one of the strangest things you can imagine. A color can be both bad and good. Let’s look at three colors: RED, WHITE and BLACK. (I did this just in case you are color blind.)
BAD: Red is the color to signify that a business is losing money Your Business is In the RED.
GOOD: Red is the color of love. It represents sex. If your girlfriend is wearing red, chances are, she is horny.
BAD: A beginner in Karate wears a white belt. This means, if he gets into a fight, he will get his ass whipped. If a woman double crosses you, you may have to remind her that she is not so lily white. And of course, we must not forget about those people who tell those little white lies.
GOOD: In the movies, the good guys wear the white hats. A bride wears white to signify that she is pure. I don’t know if this is good or bad.
BAD: On the other hand, the bad guys in the movies wear the black hats. If someone does not want you in their fraternity, lodge or club, they will blackball you. One of the most vicious villains ever, Dracula, wore black.
GOOD: Black is the symbol of authority, power, mastery and skill. A guy who has mastered the art of Karate wears a black belt. If he gets into a fight, the other guy will get his ass whipped. Have you ever been to a black tie affair. This is real classy – for the rich, famous and well-to-do. Dracula may have been a villain, but priests are good guys. Priests wear black to signify their humility, obedience and total surrender. Remember, Real Men Wear Black. Finally, if you are the owner of a business, you will definitely want to operate in the black.
Let’s do one more color.
BAD: Pink is a very feminine color, which is good. If a man wears pink, others might think he is gay, which is bad.
GOOD: Pink can represent feeling good. You’re in the Pink.
Is this article accurate? Well, this might be considered a GREY AREA.
It was noticed during his appearance on “America’s Got Talent.” If I had just broken up with someone who wanted desperately to get rid of me, I wouldn’t wear my wedding ring either. This would only serve as a grim reminder.
A few weeks ago, I was watching an old movie with a friend on TCM. The movie was, The Pride of the Yankees, starring Gary Cooper. This movie portrayed the life of one of the greatest baseball players of all time, Lou Gehrig.
When Gary Cooper made the famous speech about being the . . .luckiest man on the face of the earth. . ., my friend asked me, “How did he die?” My answer to her question was, “He died from Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”
I have a little nephew who is almost two years old. Ever since this kid was born, he has never liked me. I don’t know why, but he screamed at the top of his lungs every time he saw me. I don’t think he was afraid of me. He just didn’t like me.
One day, while the whole family was gathered together, I decided to do an experiment. When I saw him, I gave him a giant Hershey’s Chocolate Bar.
Now, every time he gets his hands on my brother’s smart phone, he calls me and says, “Hey Charlie!”
All of a sudden, he is crazy about me. Do you think this kid has a future in politics?
President Obama thinks so. Warren Buffett doesn’t like paying taxes. So do millions of other people. This doesn’t mean they hate America. Obama, if you’re really pissed off, why don’t you start eating Big Macs instead Whoppers.