OCD – How Do You Know You Have It?

howard-hughesIf Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) is known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, then Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has to be known as Howard Hughes Disease.

How do you know you have OCD?

Think about HELL for a moment. Don’t think of it as a place where there is fire. Think of it as a place where you have no freedom, and a lot of fear.

You are in a room, and you are a prisoner. Your fear will not let you do the things you want to do. Your fear will also make you do the things you don’t want to do. The things that you want to do are pleasant. The things that you don’t want to do are unpleasant.

This room is HELL.

I just said you are in a room, and you are a prisoner. I didn’t say you were locked in this room. I also didn’t say that anyone was holding you as a prisoner.

Hell has a door. This door is unlocked. If you open this door and leave, no one is going to stop you. No one is going to hurt you. No one is going to come after you and make you come back. You are free to leave anytime you want.

But You Are Afraid To Leave, and, You Don’t Dare.

This is how you know you have OCD.

Source: International OCD Foundation

The Psychology of Colors

The meaning of colors is one of the strangest things you can imagine. A color can be both bad and good. Let’s look at three colors: RED, WHITE  and BLACK. (I did this just in case you are color blind.)

RED

BAD: Red is the color to signify that a business is losing money Your Business is In the RED.

GOOD: Red is the color of love. It represents sex. If your girlfriend is wearing red, chances are, she is horny.

WHITE

BAD: A beginner in Karate wears a white belt. This means, if he gets into a fight, he will get his ass whipped. If a woman double crosses you, you may have to remind her that she is not so lily white. And of course, we must not forget about those people who tell those little white lies.

GOOD: In the movies, the good guys wear the white hats. A bride wears white to signify that she is pure. I don’t know if this is good or bad.

BLACK

BAD: On the other hand, the bad guys in the movies wear the black hats. If someone does not want you in their fraternity, lodge or club, they will blackball you. One of the most vicious villains ever, Dracula, wore black.

GOOD: Black is the symbol of authority, power, mastery and skill. A guy who has mastered the art of Karate wears a black belt. If he gets into a fight, the other guy will get his ass whipped. Have you ever been to a black tie affair. This is real classy – for the rich, famous and well-to-do. Dracula may have been a villain, but priests are good guys. Priests wear black to signify their humility, obedience and total surrender. Remember, Real Men Wear Black. Finally, if you are the owner of a business, you will definitely want to operate in the black.

Let’s do one more color.

PINK

BAD: Pink is a very feminine color, which is good. If a man wears pink, others might think he is gay, which is bad.

GOOD: Pink can represent feeling good. You’re in the Pink.

Is this article accurate? Well, this might be considered a GREY AREA.

Source: BBC

Nick Cannon Did Not Wear Wedding Ring

It was noticed during his appearance on “America’s Got Talent.” If I had just broken up with someone who wanted desperately to get rid of me, I wouldn’t wear my wedding ring either. This would only serve as a grim reminder.

Source: INSIDE edition

How Did Lou Gehrig Die?

lou-gehrig

A few weeks ago, I was watching an old movie with a friend on TCM. The movie was, The Pride of the Yankees, starring Gary Cooper. This movie portrayed the life of one of the greatest baseball players of all time, Lou Gehrig.

When Gary Cooper made the famous speech about being the . . .luckiest man on the face of the earth. . ., my friend asked me, “How did he die?” My answer to her question was, “He died from Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”

Source: ALS ASSOCIATION

Kids Learn Bribery At An Early Age

bribery

I have a little nephew who is almost two years old. Ever since this kid was born, he has never liked me. I don’t know why, but he screamed at the top of his lungs every time he saw me. I don’t think he was afraid of me. He just didn’t like me.

One day, while the whole family was gathered together, I decided to do an experiment. When I saw him, I gave him a giant Hershey’s Chocolate Bar.

Now, every time he gets his hands on my brother’s smart phone, he calls me and says, “Hey Charlie!”

All of a sudden, he is crazy about me. Do you think this kid has a future in politics?

Source: No source. No link. This really happened.

The Craziest Speed Bumps Ever Made

These may be crazy, but I still have a problem with the regular speed bumps. Speed bumps may save the lives of passengers, but they can do the driver in.

Soource: HappyPlace

Sister of Boston Marathan Bomber Arrested

What’s the matter with these people. When they were kids, didn’t they have toys to play with? Did this bitch ever play with dolls?

Source: Mail Online

The Best Pizzas in the World

Now all someone has to do is rank the best beers in the world, and then, my Friend, we are in business.

Source: CBSNEWS

Is Diane Sawyer Really Stepping Down?

Is she really, or is she pulling a Barbara Walters? They both remind me of a furniture store that is going out of business, but runs a big sale that lasts for two years.

Source: THE HUFFINGTON POST

Why Obama Declined the Ice Bucket Challenge

I can only think of one reason. No one could get his ass off the golf course.

Source: The Daily Dot

Does Warren Buffett Really Hate America?

President Obama thinks so. Warren Buffett doesn’t like paying taxes. So do millions of other people. This doesn’t mean they hate America. Obama, if you’re really pissed off, why don’t you start eating Big Macs instead Whoppers.

Source: POLITICO

USC Football Player Suspended

bob-prince

USC cornerback Josh Shaw was indefinitely suspended for lying to his coaches. He said he sprained his ankle while trying to save his drowning nephew. If this guy is trying to make it in pro football, he is off to a good start. He shows that he has the mentality for a professional athlete, according to the late, great voice of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Bob Prince.

Mr. Prince once defined a soft nose while broadcasting a baseball game on National TV. He defined it as:

A player who tries to find the quickest way to get on the 90 day disable list.

Source: TIME

Pink Slime Meat Filler is Back

There’s nothing wrong with this meat. It’s a different color because it’s from cows that were killed later in the day. They knew what was about happen and they were scared shitless.

Source: TIME

Two Simple Rules for a Sheepdog

And you can add a third rule. Stay away from the female sheep when they are in heat.

Source: BBC

Stowaway Arrested For the Third Time

The Police want the 62 year old lady to undergo a mental health evaluation. I don’t think she is the one who needs the evaluation. The lady is brilliant.

Source: abc NEWS

Kevin Love And the New BIG THREE

kevin-love

There is a new BIG THREE. It is no longer in Miami. It is in Cleveland.

With Kevin Love joining LeBron James and Kyrie Irving, there is a new power in the East. All the Cavs need to do now is find another BirdMan, and it will be like old times to LeBron.

Source: SB NATION

Charter Customers Experienced Huge Internet Outage

This is out of character for Charter. I never have a problem with their internet service. Charter should thank AT&T U-verse for having me as a customer. With Charter, I have never had outages averaging eight hours a day.

Source: SCTimes

Little League World Series Looking Good For U S

With the Chicago team about to face South Korea for the title, some of these kids may be hot commodities in the free agency market. Some of them may even be millionaires in a month.

Source: abc 7

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon – Do They Want to Save It

mariah-carey-nick-cannon
Is the marriage worth saving for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon?

Mariah does not want a marriage counselor. She is afraid it would get out that the marriage was in trouble. Well, darling, let me enlighten you. It’s already out. You and Nick have been the hottest searches on Google this week.

  • Mariah and Nick are both heart broken.
  • Mariah and Nick still love each other.
  • Mariah does not think a counselor would understand their marriage.
  • Mariah is playing mental games with Nick.
  • Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon will live by B S and will be eventually done in by B S.

Face it. All of this is B S. Where there’s B S, there’s more B S. B S is what got the marriage in trouble.

Do Mariah and Nick want more B S?

There are two choices. Save the marriage, and there will be more B S. End the marriage, and,

NO MORE B S.

Source: Hollywood Life

GOP Raises Hell With President Obama

ISIS

 

The GOP is pissed off at President Obama for vacationing during the ISIS Terrorist crisis. If confronted with this, the President would probably say, “I think better when I’m on the golf course.”

Source: CBS NEWS

Kim Kardashian Shares Selfie Without Makeup

About a week ago, on Candid Camera, a lady was stopping people on the street and asking to use their smart phones. Then she took a picture of herself, gave the smart phone back to the owner, and left. This blew everyone’s mind.

If Peter Funt had used Kim Kardashian in this segment, without her makeup, it would have been interesting to see if the people would have recognized her.

Source: The Huffington Post

Taylor Swift Realizes She’s a Feminist

taylor-swift

 

A feminist is defined by Merriam-Webster as one who believes that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. Is this why Taylor Swift considers herself to be a feminist?

I have always believed this, and I am a man. Does this make me a feminist? Or, am I a masculinist?

I can also say that I support homosexuality, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be one.

Source: Time

What If Inmates Could Design a Prison?

internet-cafe

 

If Inmates were to custom design a prison, the first plan would be a built-in internet cafe. It would have to serve refreshments – particularly beer and hard liquor. This way, the inmates can make deals online while serving time, and get  smashed while doing it.

Source: Los Angeles Times

Georgia Sex Offenders Get Gun Rights Restored

sex-offenders

 

Their gun rights should never have been revoked in the first place. Their crimes had nothing to do with having a gun and shooting someone. But they did use a weapon in their crimes. However, revoking their rights to use this weapon could present a problem, and it would be brutal, to say the least. The weapon I am referring to is the one between their legs.

Source: Atlanta Journal Constitution

The Internet and Technology

People who browse the internet obviously enjoy it. However, if they learn about the coding that makes the internet work, they probably would not know as much about the internet, and would not enjoy it as much. Studying the internet is like studying Scripture. The more you think you know, the less you really do know.

Source: BuzzFeed

Psychotic Baby Sitter Can’t Handle Kids

Martha Dreher, the pissed off baby sitter for two girls, set their room on fire. But did she do anything to the girls? If not, maybe the girls should have tied her up and burned her at the stake. Isn’t this what kids generally do to an obnoxious baby sitter?

Source: Happy Place

Taylor Swift Pisses Off Black Women of America

taylor-swift

Shake it Off

Taylor Swift is in hot water. They are mad at her because they think she is “Portraying Black Stereotypes”. But they are really mad at her because she can dance. Women don’t like competition. She has more moves than ex-lax.

Source: The Huffington Post

Tennessee Death Row Inmates Sue

electric-chair

 

Ban the ELECTRIC CHAIR

The Electric Chair is cruel and unusual punishment. But, is lethal injection gentle and usual punishment?

The death row inmates would rather be drugged to death instead of electrocuted. I assume these guys are tough, and are not afraid to die. Why should it matter to them how they die. Ten minutes later, they will not know the difference anyway.

When you’re dead, you’re dead.

Source: NBC NEWS

Pregnant Teacher Fired From Catholic School

I can see this sort of thing happening in the 60,s but not today. Catholics like to have fun. They are not as strict as the other religions. They like to drink. They like to smoke. They like to have fun. They also like to screw. All she has to do is become a Catholic, tell it to a priest in confession, and all should be forgotten.

Source: Atlanta Journal Constitution

Debtor Prison – There Is No Such Thing

It is very fortunate for most of the population that there is no such thing as a debtor prison. If there was, eighty percent of the population would be locked up. At the golf course, I would not have to wait over an hour before teeing off.

Source: USNews

Rihanna is Putty in Drake’s Hand

Drake wants to see Rihanna again. Does he miss her, or does he miss the intimacy? (Intimacy is just a nicer word than sex.) Does he really love her, or is he just horny? Will she give in to him. 5 will get you 10, the answer is, YES.

Source: Hollywood Life

You Can Trust The Feds

If you’re waiting on the Federal Government for economic growth, it’s going to be a long wait. We’re still waiting. Where have you been for the last 40 years. No one has ever been able to stimulate economic growth. What makes people think the Fed can do it now? You can trust the Feds to keep things the way they are.

Source: Politico

I Just Got Lit Up

A lady in Idaho literally got lit up. I get lit up occasionally. This happens to me some Saturdays during the Fall. Every time I go to a college football game, I get lit up. If I didn’t, I would be uncivilized.

Source: Mail Online

Nicki Minaj’s Butt Overtakes Miley Cyrus’ Butt

NickiMinaj

Anaconda, aka, YouTube Viewers sets all time record. Nicki Minaj’s butt did it. Her butt has been a National Inspiration. The word is, Reader’s Digest is going to publish an article entitled, “I am Nicki Minaj’s BUTT.”

Source: HappyPlace

How Do You Handle Rejection?

pabst-bllue-ribbon-beer

 

 

This is the way I handle rejection. First I go the the store and buy a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Second, I download as many Carrie Underwood and Nickelback songs as I possibly can. Third, I start listening to the music with headphones, with the volume turned up full blast. Finally, I keep drinking one beer after another until everything is just one bug BLUR.

Source: BuzzFeed

White House Petitions Await Response

President Obama will get to them as soon as he can. But the man does not like to be disturbed when he is on the golf course.

Source: Time

Ice Bucket Challenge No Go For Pam Anderson

That’s most unfortunate. Anne Hathaway took her ice bucket challenge in the shower. I was hoping Pam Anderson would do the same. I was so looking forward to seeing her in the shower.

Source: INSIDE edition

Goliath Grouper Has A Mouthful

What a fish story! The first question I had was, “Did the fisherman get to keep the Goliath Grouper?” This is a good question, because grouper is damn good eating.

Source: abc NEWS

Robin Williams Scattered Over San Francisco Bay

This is something that we never think about. When you die, and if you are cremated, where do you want your ashes scattered? I’ve never thought about it. But if I were to give a quick answer to this question, off hand, I would say, the fairway of the 13th hole at Augusta.

Source: NBC NEWS

Gwinnett Woman Fires Gunshots at Burglar

Gwinnett woman not only fired at him for breaking into her home. She chased him out, and she hit him. There was blood on the ground. With the complexity of the laws today, was what this woman did legal?

Source: Atlanta Journal Constitution

Al Sharpton Pisses Off Bill O’Reilly

Bill O’Reilly is pissed off at the way Al Sharpton handled the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri . Al, I say, just forget it. Let Eric Holder handle it. He seems to be the Man with the Plan.

Source: Politico

Harvey Updyke – Most Hated Man In Alabama

You could say this guy is a crusader. He brought Alabama and Auburn fans together, which is a tall order. Everyone in the State of Alabama, including Alabama fans, hate this guy. Alabama fans did not want the Oak Trees at Toomer’s Corner poisoned. If they defeat their arch rival, which is also a tall order, they would have much more joy of seeing the Auburn fans not being able to roll the oak trees with toilet paper. But this guy screwed all this up. What a dork!

Source: ESPN

Democrats Support Rick Perry

The exact headline of the source article is: US Democrats Rally Around… Rick Perry?  It’s funny that the writer of this article ended the headline with a question mark. He is asking the same question many people are asking – WHY?

 

Source: BBC

Chicago – The Ultimate Town

Chicago is a great town. It is a great college town. It is also a great sports town – one of the best. You may argue this point by saying, “But their sports teams can’t win championships.” This is true. But it is also true that fans will support their team, even when they lost. The Cubs are proof of this.

Source: BuzzFeed

California Attorney General Changes Her Mind

It’s a Woman’s Prerogative to Change Her Mind. California Attorney General Kamala D. Harris suddenly fits this mold. But if she opposes the Death Penalty so much, why support it all of a sudden? Is she letting what happened to James Foley influence your way of thinking? If you’re angry, go after the ISIS Terrorists. Don’t go after our own.

Source: Los Angeles Times

Mariah Carey Cannot Stay In One Place Long

At least Mariah Carey’s marriage with Nick Cannon lasted six years. This is practically a lifetime and a career for the sexy singer. Her brief encounter with American Idol barely lasted one year.

Source: Hollywood Life

James Foley Beheading Video Could Be Fake

Warning – ISIS beheading of American James Foley might contain content that is not suitable for all ages.

First and foremost, I hope the video is a fake. It bothers me to think that someone would brutally murder someone like this in cold blood.

I’ve watched the unedited version several times, and analyzed it. There are a number of things that seem very suspicious. These leads me to believe that this video is a phony.

  • The video looks like it was made on a Hollywood Set. For all we know, it could have been made in Hollywood, but I wouldn’t go that far.
  • The background appears to be a picture.
  • The wind is blowing very strong on Foley’s clothing. But, nothing in the background appears to me moving. The grassy areas, the sand and the clouds appear to be part of a picture.
  • A strong wind seems to be blowing Foley’s clothing . However, the clothing worn by the masked man in black is not blowing as strong. This leads me to believe that a fan may have been facing directly at the prisoner identified as James Foley.
  • If you look closely at the shadows by the two men in the video, it looks as if there could have been a stage light shining on them.
  • When the masked man finished talking, and was about to behead Foley, the video is temporarily stopped as the knife seems to lodge into his neck. If the ISIS terrorist really wanted to shake up the American public and rub it in, every brutal detail would have been shown in the video. This leads to three important questions: Why was the video stopped?Did the execution really take place?; and, Was the masked man in black holding a real knife?
  • The apparent knife the masked man is holding is not much larger than a paring knife. If the ISIS terrorist was about to behead someone, he probably would have used a sword, or a much larger knife.
  • There is a still picture of what appears to be Foley’s headless body. With photo software, there are hundreds of ways to manipulate an image.
  • The wind was not blowing on what appeared to be the lifeless body of James Foley.
  • As the knife apparently goes into Foley’s neck, there was no blood gushing out.
  • Foley did not make a sound. When Nick Berg was beheaded in May, 2004, he screamed at the top of his lungs as the knife was going into his neck. Also, recall in the Nick Berg video that the entire brutal execution was shown.

If you watch the video again, you can form your own opinion.

All Bacon Restaurant Opening in Montreal

The Brutus restaurant is coming to Montreal. Make sure your cholesterol is in good shape before you eat there, because afterwards, it won’t be worth a damn. If the owner of the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas was smart, he would open another location in Montreal. This would give Brutus some competition.

Source: BuzzFeed

Drone Drops Cell Phones Into Prison

This has to be more dignified than some of the other ways that cell phones are sneaked into prisons. I was once told that guys sneak cell phones into many Federal Prisons by sticking them up their ass.

Source: BBC

A Hot Dog is Very Healthy

The bread is grain. The sauerkraut and onions are vegetables. The sauce and mustard are healthy. Take away the weenie, and it is a healthy sandwich. But without the weenie, what’s the damn point?

Source: abc NEWS